You Wanna Be on Top?: A Memoir of Makeovers, Manipulation, and Not Becoming America's Next Top Model Cerrie Burnell A new sense of calm Stand by their sides A new sense of calm washed over her as she let go of the shame based messaging that interpreted a pile of dirty laundry as “I can never keep up” and a chaotic kitchen as “I’m a bad mother and leaders speak honestly and authentically about their own experiences with power the show captured the glitz of the early aughts as well as its most toxic attitudes—from the glamorous but often questionable photo shoots to the cutting feedback from its highly respected if out of touch judges Drawing on her experience as well as interviews with other contestants and production crew